It's The Most Seasonal Time of The Year

Aeon Flux
Why wasn't this animated?
Everything wrong with this movie stems from it being live-action. Charlize Theron refusing to wear the signature skimpy costumes, the missing genetic intertwining of sex and violence, and the fact the people can't move like Aeon is supposed to move.

A perfect example... Spy A passes Spy B information by hiding the info in his tooth. When A and B meet in the park, they kiss. A sticks her tongue into B's mouth, flicks open the hollow tooth, and tongues the info into her own mouth. Simple. Classic Aeon.

This happened in the movie but we simple see A and B kiss and then this close-up of A's tongue as it cups the info. Here, it is implied, that B simple had the info in his mouth and A scooped it out.

Aeon Flux was brilliant because of the details. It's very clear that no one involved with this film understood the source material. If they had, it would have been animated.


Walk The Line
I don't know who said it but, damn it, it's true... "When Johnny Cash sings a song, it stays sung."
This is a paint-by-number biopic (obscurity -> success -> love -> -> stardom -> excess -> rock bottom -> overcoming -> back on top). If you saw Ray, you know Walk The Line's arc.
That said, the formula works for this film, probably because the formula is the formula for good reason AND because it's actually how Johnny's life played out.
Reese is good, Joaquin is amazing, and the music is spot on.
I would have enjoyed a little more with Elvis and Jerry Lee, but that's what sequels are for.

Ice Harvest
Damn it! I was really looking forward to this one. This movie sucked hard. So hard, in fact, they should give an Oscar to the guy that cut the trailer. That's a good trailer. It's made even better when you consider the shit movie that it's cut from.
Save your $9... here's the trailer (pops).

Just Friends
Amy Smart is cute and Ryan Reynolds does his Ryan Reynolds thing. Anna Faris is scary L.A. chick and Chris Klein is an asshole. Come to think of it... everyone but Amy Smart does asshole-ish things. This movie is all about assholes.
Add a splash of Farrelly-Brother grossout and you know where this movie lives.

Yours, Mine, Ours
It's the only family film out that doesn't rely on special effects to tell the story.
It's a bland remake of a 1968 movie of the same name helmed by Lucille Ball.
Rene Russo is the updated Lucille Ball.
The rest of the movie follows suit.

The Legend of Zorro
Does anybody care? I get it that The Mask of Zorro was a decent flick and it broke Zeta-Jones-Douglas to the world... but that was 7 years ago! Where is the demand for a sequel?
Let's see... Legend of Zorro had a budget of $80 million. Its opening weekend numbers... $16.3 million (USA only). After a month and a half in theaters it has only pulled in $45.1 million (USA only).
Clearly nobody cares.
Oh, wait - the review... typical Zorro. A bad guy has some ludicrous plan to destroy civilization, Zorro must ride again, his wife doesn't want him to, he does anyway, there are swords and explosions and trains (oh my!), Zorro wins, the people cheer, and his wife forgives him because he did such a good job protecting the common man.
Psssssbbbbbbt. (onomatopoeic raspberry's for the uninitiated)