Up-to-Speed

Wedding Crashers
Finally, someone doing something interesting with the Romantic Comedy genre. Funny and packed with tits (calling them 'breasts' would be to regal and 'boobies' wouldn't do them justice).
This one is up there with Zoolander and Dodgeball.

Sky High
I'll be damned... they didn't take themselves seriously. It's a PG Disney movie with just enough subtle stuff for the adults. I know I'm supposed to be hatin' all over everything but I was really suprised by this movie. I expected it to be JUST for kids. It's not.

The Island
Oooooo, the Future! If there is one thing film has taught me about the future, it's that no one ever learns from what the past used to think about the future.
This movie takes place 14 years from now (2019 for those with math issues). Cloning is an exact science, cars can fly, and only Whites, Asians, and pro-football players with Nike endorsements have money.
Now... 14 years ago (1981), what did we think of The Future... cloning would be an exact science, cars should be flying, and only Whites, Asians, and Nike-endorsed-pro-footballers will have money.

"The Island" is a chilling vision of a fantastic future.
(you'll do well to note the dripping sarcasm implied by the italics)

It's a Michael Bay film so the action is tight and impressive. Bruckheimer wasn't involved so no one will ever use the terms 'unflinching' and 'bleak' when refering to this, particular, vision of The Future. (I'm sorry to reduce her to this but...)Scarlett Johansson looks amazing, even when sporting the "what is this 'coffee' you speak of?" face, which she wears for the last half of the movie. Props to Ewan and the digital compositors for the Ewan talking to Ewan sequences.
Wait! I'm not done ragging on the inconsistent 'future'-logic and the glaring plot holes... ah, never mind. It's got Scarlett for the guys, Ewan for the girls, and explosions everwhere inbetween.

Stealth
I was too busy being impressed with the shear amount and quality of the special effects shots to notice how unbelivably medocre this movie is.
Mad props to the CG and composite teams.
To those responsible for the ADR... your fired.

Hustle & Flow
Being a prostitute is cool. Being a pimp is cooler.
Beating on women is cool. Beating on famous people is even cooler.
Showing up late to a trend and acting like you thought of it first is cool. Shooting people because no one cares about you or your band is cooler.
Spending time at the county jail is cool. The woman you love having a child and your record going to #1 while you are in jail is even cooler.
Oh, I'm sorry... did I just spoil this movie for you?
Clearly you don't watch VH1.
This was 2 hours of "When Keepin'It Real Goes Wrong."

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Everyone is SO busy harping on Depp's appearance or odd acting choices. Roger Ebert, Peter Travers at Rolling Stone, and the Village Voice's Ed Park all liken him Michael Jackson. Hey guys... not EVERYTHING is ripped from today's headlines. At least most of the overseas critics managed to see this film for what it is... a delightfully absurd children's film for adults that kids will probably enjoy also.
This story is about a man, not a boy. While both the book and film are titled "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" - look at which character has an arc. This is the story of a bizarre, candy-obsessed, recluse seeking to find a child he can raise to be a man crazy enough to continue the Wonka legacy.
Yes, it is a dark story, yes, Willy Wonka is a disturbed man, yes, the moral lessons are a tad sadistic, but if you've read the book (or any Roald Dahl for that matter) you'll know that it's the adults that are the broken - not the kids.
Depp's Wonka is creepy because a grown-ass man behaving like a child is creepy. If you weren't so obsessed with labeling everyone a pedophile you might actually feel sorry for a kind a brillant man robbed of his childhood by an overbearing father (I'm well aware that Willy's childhood trauma isn't in the book... but a man as destroyed as Willy Wonka needs some backstory). Willy Wonka isn't Michael Jackson. Stop thinking it's poignant and enjoy the damn movie!

Herbie: Fully Loaded
It's a Herbie movie. If you know what that means, then you know what to expect.
Being something of an Animist, Herbie will always have a place in my heart.

The Bad News Bears
I can't get enough of Billy Bob cussing at 10-year olds.

The Devil's Rejects
Well look at that! That family of crazed-sociopaths is killin' people and swearing like... well... like a family of crazed-sociopaths.
While there is some plot somewhere in this movie, really, it's about Rob Zombie's hot wife running around, being crazy, dropping the f-bomb EVERY 10 seconds, and messin' with people before they die at the hands of someone in said family of crazed-sociopaths.
Not so much a scary movie (there aren't any *jump* scares) as it is a 'my lord, these people are sadistic!' and 'Ah! Now THAT was gory!' movie.